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It’s been a few months since I completed my 200-day streak of meditation, so it’s time to put down in words how the practice of meditation changed me and how it didn’t. Importantly, I didn’t want to do this during the “high” of my 200-day streak, and instead sought to wait to see how meditating actually “settled” into my real life.
I have waited.
Here is what I learned:
You Do You: To Start Meditating, First Make Meditation Work for You
As an anxious person with a passion for optimizing health and wellness, you would’ve thought I would’ve been meditating successfully before 2018. You would think wrong. Even after reading an untold numbers of books on the topic (special shoutouts to 10% Happier by Dan Harris, which I freakin’ LOVED, and also Learning to Breathe by Priscila Warner), I never really got into the habit for one simple reason: the meditation methods I read about weren’t tailored to me and my life.
If you follow my work or have read one of my books on purposeful productivity, you know that I care an awful lot about making life work for you, which is the whole idea behind my Work by Design movement. (Thesis: The only productivity system that will finally work for you is the one built for real people with real lives. Join my free Work by Design summit and learn from 50+ experts here.)
There were two clear ways that I made meditation work for me that changed the game.
- Meditating without a guide didn’t work for me. Trying to meditate a hundred times without a guide was too hard for my wily old brain. I didn’t do it well, I got too distracted, and I gave up. The end. When I had a guide — through a guided meditation — now that’s when I could make some traction!
- Meditating sitting up sucked most of the time. You know what didn’t suck? Lying down. I started lying down. The end.
- Getting a simple app to provide me with a guided meditation and track my progress was the holy grail. This took some trial and error. Initially I listened to YouTube guided meditations and tracked my meditations in a notebook. Fail. Then I tried a few apps. The one I love is the Calm app, with the soothing voice of Tamara Levitt, who I would like to narrate all my inner thoughts.
The point is, when I finally decided to trash the ultimate goal (45 minutes sitting on a pillow listening to the sound of my own breath) and went for the realistic: 15 minutes lying down listening to Tamara, it clicked. And it clicked so much that I was often able to do it twice a day (or three times, on occasion.)
So yeah, you do you.
Meditating is Awesome! Duh?
I mean basically, meditating is awesome. If some days i life are not more than a series of thwarted attempts to get off Instagram and do something meaningful and/or productive, then meditation is the perfect antidote. In 10-15 minutes a day you can lie down (don’t let them convince you that sitting is necessary!), listen to the soothing voice of someone like Tamara Levitt over on the Calm App (don’t let them tell you guided meditations don’t count!), and come away feeling lighter, brighter, or at the very least definitely not worse.
Meditating is Awesome but is it Just that I Feel Proud of Myself for Meditating?
When someone asked me recently if the practice changed me for the better, and then pushed further to ask me WHY it changed me positively, here’s what I thought:
In one of Gretchen Rubin’s books, she talks about her attempt to meditate and how she ultimately didn’t find enough value out of it to continue. (Interestingly, in a similar vein, she also shares that acupuncture was the same; she didn’t find enough value and decided she would rather spend her money on massage therapy.) I really liked this frankness and the You Do You + Take the Bull By the Horns approach, and I had this story in the back of my head during my entire 200-day experiment. Was it really worth the time and energy? Was it really benefiting me? Or did I just think it was?
Ultimately, I don’t know. But I guess it doesn’t matter right? I mean do I care if it helped me solely because I felt good that I was doing something positive versus if it actually helped me? (I feel confused even rereading that sentence.)
The End Game, or Now What?
Did I stop meditating after my streak was done? No, but it’s different now. I still meditate, but I don’t meditate once or twice every single day like I did during my 200-day streak. These days I try to do it 5 times a week. I still track it, and I still enjoy it, and I still enjoy that I enjoy it. But I do find that for whatever reason I need the threat of breaking a streak to ensure that it happens every day, without fail. And for the most part, I think that’s okay. I definitely don’t wait it to disappear from my life, and so perhaps that will mean starting another challenge at some point to retrain myself to make sure it happens daily, without fail. For now, though, I’m happy being a (slightly) calmer, cooler, more collected me.
So, have you tried meditating?
I use the YouVersion app and listen to the ESV track – great voice, can set a timer – just before bed, I drift off with a mind soothed and calmed. Love it – good post, thanks.
ESV? I’m interested!
I am a Hindu Brahmin from India.
Meditation is a daily must do thing for Brahmins . It’s part of prayer for us.
Ramakrishna
Wonderful!
Iam what people call born again Christian and meditate 30 minutes a day 15 for mindful 15 for prayer. I think of it as a religious thing too.
I have tried it. I do not do it consistently but I have noticed a difference in how calm I am before and after the meditation. I feel refreshed. I too love the guided meditation. It works well for me. I also prefer lying down. The app that connects with me is Headspace.
I think the refreshed thing is HUGE.
I meditate from a spiritual basis and consider it a discipline as well as a calming, peaceful practice. Therefore I definitely try to be consistence with my time, place and posture but don’t beat myself up if I don’t make it 100% overall. It has changed me in coping with many stressful, life situations and makes me feel connected with a benevolent, loving source.
Love it!
Yes, Claire! I have come to some of the same conclusions. I started meditating at the suggestion of my therapist. Just counting breaths and sitting was almost more stressful and distracting. I use Insight Timer and have lots of favorites. I need someone there to hold my hand and tell me what to do. Probably my people pleaser tendencies. Haha! I also have to lie down. I have found that 15-20 minutes is my limit, someday I hope to do more.
I also find when I go to bed I am not always ready to do a “go to sleep” meditation, though very helpful when I am overly stressed. I have found several music and nature tracks that slow down my breathing.
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
I have insight timer on my phone too. Love it the few times I’ve used. 15-20 is great!!
10% Happier got me started two years ago and I am still going. Not everyday, but like you Claire, on average 5 times a week. Agree on the guided meditation, it works for me, but I have found that if I don’t have my phone and want to meditate I can eek out five minutes of breath meditation. I use the 10% Happier app that I pay $80/year for and I believe it is worth every penny as it includes lessons from some of the top teacher in the world. Highly recommend and Claire you should check in with Dan Harris and get on his 10% Happier podcast. Yours is an interesting story and should be shared more widely.
oh you use the happier app?!?? what’s it like??? I loved dan’s book. the second one was also good. On your average, do you do more on weekend or less? (i.e. is the 5 always including weekend?) i find harder on weekends actually! i’ve heard his podcast a couple times. i’d love to be on! ha!
I love the Calm app and have meditated for over a 1000 sessions. I do find it makes me less stressed. Tamara has the most soothing voice. I frequently lie down rather than sit and don’t see an issue with that. And I agree…you do you. If you find meditating valuable, do it. If not, move on.
I’m TOTALLY with you Claire. For YEARS I wanted to be the type of person who mediated each morning but just couldn’t do it. Then, I found an app I liked and started with just 5 minutes for 5 months and that was a game changer. Knowing yourself and what works for you is key! Thanks for the reminder.
which app??