My pal Jeff has just reopened his wildly popular online writing and platform building class for a few days. If you’re interested in learning more about it, see the recording of our free online workshop. When you do, you’ll also get a copy of Jeff’s book;)

My friends Tripp and Tyler are funny with a capital F. Although they have a few too many amazing videos out that have left me giggling on the floor like a wayward schoolgirl, their latest video is not only funny but oh-so-true.

Entitled, You’re Doing Twitter Wrong, it gives you some of the top reasons you’re, well, doing Twitter wrong. If you’re a Tripp and Tyler fan, you may know they don’t pride themselves on giving you actionable advice. That said, this time they seem to have done so rather beautifully (and unintentionally, of course).

Let’s review what Tripp and Tyler say you should not do on Twitter.

Ten things not to do on Twitter:

1. Don’t retweet a compliment. Or, do it rarely. They say it’s the same thing as bragging. It is.
2. Don’t promote something more than a few times. Don’t tweet endlessly about that new blog post you just wrote. It gets boring for your followers. I say the 80/20 rule works here. Only self-promote yourself 20% of the time and you’ll get great results.
3. Go easy on the hashtags. Hashtags can be fun. If you don’t overuse them. Don’t. Tripp and Tyler also say you shouldn’t use the word “hashtag” in real life. I don’t follow this one. Because, of course, it’s just too much fun to say “hashtag parenthood” when my husband and I are cleaning up baby spit.
4. Don’t tweet 200 times about the awesome thing you’re doing instead of experiencing it. Live your life, don’t just tweet it.
5. Stop tweeting about things other people don’t care about. I think you’ll need to contact Tripp and Tyler directly to find out what they believe your followers care about. Or just do what I do, and constantly tweet new mother baby pictures showcasing the insane cuteness of baby @lucia and hope people will forgive you for it.
6. Don’t follow thousands of people in hopes they’ll follow back. No really, don’t.
7. Don’t use Twitter for your extended two-way conversations. Need to talk to have a long two-way conversation with someone? Get on email. Or text. Tripp and Tyler say to do it off Twitter. It’s minorly weird to talk forever with just one person as everyone else watches.
8. Don’t think everyone see yours @replies. This is a tricky one that many don’t understand. Here’s the scoop: If you send an @reply tweet to @claire, it won’t show to all your followers. It will only show to me. If you want all your followers to see the tweet to me, put a period (or word) in front of your @reply, like this: “.@claire” or “hey @claire”. Then everyone will see it.
9. Don’t tweet twice in a row to squeeze in more than 140 characters. Tripp and Tyler are deeply annoyed by this, apparently.
10. Don’t tweet too many quotes. You may have heard that tweets with quotes get retweeted like crazy. They do. But not if you do them all the time. Vary up your tweets.

What other things should you not do on Twitter? I’m all ears.